By Charita M. Goshay

Copley News Service

Rock musician Bob Geldof is to be commended. As creator of "Live Aid" and co-creator of "Live Eight," he's raised millions in emergency relief for children around the world, particularly those suffering in Africa.

He's even been knighted by Queen Elizabeth II of England for his charitable work. But just like the cobbler's children, Sir Bob's four young daughters have endured some sufferings of their own.

Why? Because their names are:

1. Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa.

2. Fifi Trixiebelle.

3. Pixie.

4. Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily.

Why not just name them Stripper No. 1, Stripper No. 2, Stripper No. 3 and Stripper No. 4?

Geldof's daughter, Peaches, 16, recently lambasted celebrities for giving their children ludicrous names they think are hip and clever. Most people take more thought in naming their pets.

It's been going on for years. Back in the 1960s, musician Frank Zappa named his children Moon Unit, Diva Muffin, Ahmet and Dweezil.

In 2004, actress Gwyneth Paltrow and musician-husband Chris Martin named their baby "Apple."

And that's one of the more decent celebrity-kid names. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore have a daughter, Scout, named after the girl in the book "To Kill A Mockingbird." Problem is, Scout was the character's nickname. Her actual name was Jean Louise.

Still, Scout Willis probably should consider herself lucky. Had her parents read the book to the end, and had she been born a boy, she might be named Boo Radley.

Her sisters are named Tallulah Belle and Rumer.

Should we have expected any less from parents who were married by Little Richard?

Singer Toni Braxton's sons are Denim and Diesel.

Are they babies, or bouncers in a biker bar?

Julia Roberts named her boy Phineas, which would be fine if it were 1806 - not 2006.

Actor Jason Lee of the TV show "My Name is Earl," named his son Inspektor Pilot. Why?

There's only one thing that can be said for such choices: "Let the playground beatings commence."

Shouldn't there be a law that prevents parents from taking a newborn out of a hospital if the baby is christened with something that doesn't even qualify as a name?

I know people have a right to free expression, but I still say the parents of former Washington Wizards basketball player God Shamgod should have been arrested.

Comedian/magician Penn Gillette named his daughter Moxie CrimeFighter Gillette. And that doesn't qualify as child abuse?

People like to joke about Ozzy Osbourne being addled, but his children are sensibly named Elliot, Jessica, Louis, Amy, Kelly and Jack.

Celebrities' kids have one advantage in that they're somewhat insulated from the real world. Noncelebrity children bearing weird and made-up names can look forward to a life filled with insults.

It's admirable when stars use their fame to help the disadvantaged. Maybe some of these celebrities should stage a telethon so that tragically monikered children can go to probate court when they turn 18.

Why should the kids have to pay for a name change? Haven't they suffered enough?

Charita M. Goshay is a writer at The Repository in Canton, Ohio.