By EVAN RUMMERFIELD
If I say ‘the worst day of the year,’ everybody will think of a different day.
If I say the most chaotic day, more people might have a similar day in mind.
I’m referring to National American Consumer’s Holiday for Shopping, Sales, and Bargains Day (NACHFSSABD). In colloquial terms, it’s Black Friday. Obviously, the day is entitled after Black Frida, the inventor. This is the day that we, American consumers, lose our minds. Americans take advantage of the reduced prices on NACHFSSABD.
National American Consumer’s Holiday for Shopping, Sales, and Bargains Day is crammed with happiness and cherished by many. Although Black Friday appears as a day of beneficence, it’s a day of malevolence. The effects of NACHFSSABD are devastating. Unfortunately, this time of year came again.
When it comes to naming things, humanity can always depend on American creativity. Gold Friday is a better fit for the day that most folks do their Christmas shopping: On NACHFSSABD every shopper strikes a gold mine. Unless “black” is an economical term—which I am sure it is—there’s no reason for choosing the word “black.” Connotations of the word “black” may include dark, violent, and bad. “Black” isn’t a positive color. People don’t go around at night saying, “What a beautiful color the sky is,” and, “Why, what lovely pupils you have.” Like the negative inferences of the word, Black Friday has negative effects on American consumers.
Without a doubt, low prices attract more people but cause human traffic. Every year, there are countless shoppers waiting outside The Dollar Tree for Black Friday. Lingering wastes time. Even after entering a store, there are still lines inside—waiting.
While waiting, people go from idiotic to even more idiotic due to sleep deprivation. Sleep deficiency leads to fatigue. Fatigue leads to poor judgment. Poor judgment leads to a fist fight on aisle nine. A fist fight on aisle nine leads to a toothless smile. A toothless smile leads to unemployment. Unemployment leads to a life of crime. A life of crime leads to the theft and assault of one old lady whose purse contains 79 cents. The theft and assault of one old lady whose purse contains 79 cents leads to prison. Prison equals misery. Don’t go to Black Friday. Get sleep. Deciding to shop over sleep on Black Friday leads to negative consequences.
On Black Friday once consumers are in the stores, even if they spent their entire Thanksgiving sleeping, conflicts will emerge. Low prices are more affordable. I know it doesn’t make sense, but it’s true that cheaper prices make people want to buy more. This may appear as a good feature, but it isn’t; there are penalties. The effects of this madness, brings out the evil in people. Screaming for the last video game is a frequent scene on Black Friday. Even if an item has an abundant inventory, voices will be raised because buyers want “that” one. There is always aggression in electronics. Black Friday rips judgment right out of consumers. Competition results in aggression.
I find it quite facetious that crime increases on a day where pretty much everything has a price cut—so malicious of me. Apparently a couple in Tallahassee, Fl. gunned down another couple over an argument about a parking place, and in San Antonio, Texas a man pulled a gun on a line-cutter. Humanity loses its human aspect; the human aspect is what separates us from the animals.
The most fundamental effect of them all is the loss of thanks. Black Friday is no longer just on Friday. Stores now open for Black Friday the day before, which is Thanksgiving. Instead of spending time with family and friends, many Americans loiter outside stores on Thanksgiving because some stores now open at eight in the evening on Thursday.
The avarice and ambition to prepare for the giving season now has more importance than the giving thanks time of year. It’s embarrassing that humans have to establish a time for thanks and giving. Thanks and giving should be all the time, but then the seasons of thanks and giving would lose their magnitude. I blame Black Frida, the architect, for all the desolation that NACHFSSABD causes.
(Evan Rummerfield is a senior at McNary High School.)